You can run but you can’t hide

You can run but you can't hide

You can deny but pain won't leave your side

You can laugh but the heart will ache

You can ignore but the memories won't fade

You can scream, shout and cry but you can't run from the sky

The urge to apologize

Why do I feel scared when I get happy?

Why do I think my actions would upset someone?

Why do I feel guilty for having done well in what I have?

Why do I feel like I owe an explanation for doing better?

Why do I feel anything I do will inconvenience someone?

Why do I have the urge to apologize for the achievements in my life?

Fickle minded....and hearted??

We have often heard about how one is freckle minded. The phase implying that the said person is not decisive and usually has a difficult time sticking to a single decision.

Today I watched a Hindi movie, Dil Kabbadi. It is a movie which would be classified as Art Cinema or parallel cinema or real cinema. The essence of the movie title and the story boils down to the concept of having a "fickle heart", the new villain to love stories...

Gone are the days (mostly) when parents and society stood against the love of the young. Today falling in love is no longer frowned upon. Parents are accepting and so is society. The problem now is in the process of falling in love. Apparently if you think you are in love chances are you would be falling out of it sooner or later. Lucky if you fall out before the marriage, unlucky if it is after the marriage. Or is it? Is the process of falling in and out of love as simple as changing clothes or shoes or mobile phones?

How then can we ensure that the falling in love we are experiencing is the real thing, the final change or the perfect mobile phone? When do we stop thinking there is someone better, more handsome, more understanding, more worthy and the list goes on.. How do we know the flutter in the stomach and the racing of the heart is for life and not going to stop dead when we wake up tomorrow?

Tin Fish by Sudeep Chakravarti- Book review

Amazing book about the coming of age. A very frank narration in real language including a barrage of profanity in almost every sentence. What made reading the book really special for me was the setting of the story. The story is set in Mayo College in Ajmer. Ajmer is my birth town and I have always wanted to go to Mayo College's sister school, Mayo Girls. Reading about familiar places in Ajmer was like watching a film in my head with real places. A good read but you have to be ready to tune out the "language".

Thoughts in my head

So many thought in my head fighting to be expressed

Unsure I remain as to act upon them fearing the consequences

Who will they hurt?

Which can of worms will they open?

Call me selfish, call me evil

For I don't want to get hurt more

Enough pain I have had, i need no more

Yet I seek no revenge..

Though i have never felt a stronger urge to use profanities to express myself

I feel i have lost myself in a black hole, emotionally and mentally

What have i done to get this upon myself?

I had the perfect plan which crashed and burned along the way

Leaving me in the dark hole I am in

Uproar over movies

Recently there was an article in the news about how chick flicks are degrading the female population by a negative and weak portrayal of female characters. This came on the heels of the numerous criticisms about Slumdog Millionaire. I find both these issues stem from a single phenomenon; movie audiences today have lost the sense of reality in entertainment. I mean what is so wrong about showing the reality of some women who do indeed have shopping obsessions or those who desperately cling onto a man to feel complete? Also have the rich Indians today forgotten the slums that line the perimeter of their booming metropolitan city and the slum dwellers who exit side by side with them? It is very convenient to close our eyes and say these females or these slum dwellers don't exist and the movies are unfair portrayal of the "truth" in an effort to disgrace the female population or India.

I have seen 3 chick flicks in the last 2 months; He's just not that into you, Confessions of a shopaholic and Bride Wars. I am also a diehard fan of Mean girls and White Chicks. Does that mean I am on the side of the chauvinistic males who rule society and females alike? Not at all! In fact there are a lot of movies that portray men as the chauvinistic male pigs who couldn't give 2 hoots about using a woman's body and walking away. Now does that mean that is the typical man in the world? I certainly hope not. This man is just 1 of the many kinds of men who inhibit the world. So why then the uproar over the true portrayal of the "weaker" kinds of females?

The same goes for Slumdog Millionaire. The irony over the issue here is much larger since the majority of Indians live below the poverty line. Mumbai aka Bombay has the largest slums and a large, thriving slum dwelling population. How do you expect to deny this fact? What is so wrong with showing this to the world? In fact I applaud the movie for showing how a slum boy aka slumdog rose up in society to become a millionaire. Isn't that something to be proud of? Such stories though not the norm are a true fact of the Indian landscape. Stories of boys and girls coming to the big city with nothing more than dreams of making it big. These same people have gone to achieve amazing things. Indian should be proud to have such resilient citizens who dare to dream and dare to achieve those dreams despite such odds.

I enjoy chick flicks for the humour and the madness of the characters. I even use them as a reminder for myself to not lose my self-confidence and identity as a woman. I have certainly not ran amok after watching "He's just not that into you" looking for the perfect guy and then stalking him all in the hopes of falling in love with Mr. Impossible. Movies are made for entertainment but they usually are based on some kind of reality. This reality may not be the most predominant one but that doesn't take away from the fact that it is still reality.

Featured in the newspaper

Click on the picture to read the article!

Lamhe- SMU Arts Festival 2009

This article appeared in the SMU magazine..
Click on the photo to read the article!

8 X 10 Tasveer- movie review

The movie is really engaging and the suspense very thrilling. However the end part and the explanation for the murderer's motives are weak. These flaws hurt the effectiveness of the story as a whole. However the movie is enjoyable and fun to watch if you like to be thrilled.

Confessions of a Shopaholic- Movie Review

I love the movie! I can relate to the craze of shopping but can also distance myself from the magic of the plastic money. The story is fun, flirty and very real. I love the colours, the clothes, the gliz and the glamour. At the same time I love how the movie is real despite what the feminist are saying about chick flicks.

As the end draws closer

4 years, 8 semesters, 39 subjects, uncountable projects and presentations, late nights in the library, rushing to meet deadlines, rehearsing in the concourse and SESS seminar 5.2.. As foreign as these may seem to you, to me they are reminders of the 4 years I have spent in SMU.

My experience at SMU is coming to an end and as much as I am thrilled to be finally over with my Bachelors, there is a sadness in leaving the university where I amassed a lot of memories. I was filling out my profile page for the yearbook when I came across the question "What is your fondest memory in SMU?". Needless to say I had a hard time pinpointing a single memory, there are too many for me to treasure for the rest of my life.

The times spent with friends simply chatting, having fun, drinking chai, laughing uncontrollably or the times spent frazzled in the library working till wee hours to meet an impossibly close deadline. I remember the 1^st day of FA class when I 1^st met Liz. Both of us were so out of place in an accounting class and were so relieved to find a friendly face in class. I remember we found each other during the class break and stuck together ever since. We literally slaved together for FA and MA, supporting each other through the horrors of the subjects.

I am going to miss each of these memories and much much more. More importantly I will miss all the people who have enriched my time in SMU, It is impossible to think about my university days without my friends and professors. I thank God for blessing me with such wonderful friends who have stood by me the past 4 years. I just hope we can continue to stay in touch and maintain our beautiful friendship.

I had always heard that university is the best time of your life and I totally agree. I loved my university days and am going to miss it a lot!

I think that what makes this rite of passage more bittersweet for me is the fact that I am as yet still unemployed. That means that once my exams end on the 18^th of April, I have an indefinite period of nothingness. I have been working hard on filling this black hole of a period in my life with some meaningful activities. The obvious thing is trying to land a job for which the process is still in process. As would be expected this is no easy feat in the economic times of today. Keeping that in mind I have also applied for Master's studies in the UK. Other than that I have been applying for various short activities like volunteering with the Asian Youth Games and being a Teaching Assistant and Research Assistant for the holidays.

As the end draws closer I look forward to a new beginning while cherishing the many treasured memories I have of university days.

He's just not that into you

For me the movie was too unnerving. I had a hard time not reacting to the extreme desperation from Gigi. I guess it was just highly in contrast to the person I am. However I must say I liked the ending for the respective characters.

Love Story- Book review

Too short for me. I finished reading it in an hour. I preferred reading 'I too had a love story'. I felt the love story was not developed as well. The author could have set the story at a more settled pace.

The hypocrisy of the hypocrites

The hypocrisy of the hypocrites makes me hurl.

The ignorance and the negligence of the honesty of the simple leaves me amazed.

The world is weird and weirder are the people who constitute the world.

Truth and honesty are no longer welcome, neither are sincere relationships and genuine emotions.

It is instead the world of deceit, malicious gossip, back-stabbing and arm-twisting.

The spineless aspires to rule by preying on the dumb and fooling the smart. It remains to be seen who emerges victories.

Then again is this even a fight? Forget world peace. Is peace amongst "friends" even possible? Can I trust the person who is friend not to smile and back-stab while under the impression that the stab hurts without me knowing? Talk about being ambitious...

Billu Barber- movie review

A good entertainment value. Irfan and Lara do a great job. The 3 "item" songs were catchy and well picturised. Though the choreography was not up to the mark. Deepika looked the most amazing of the 3 "item girls" and Kareena the most retarded. SRK's age shows and he looks awkward paired opposite girls 20 years his junior. Overall it is a good entertaining movie.

Slumdog Millionaire- Movie review

Amazing story finely told. Brilliant acting and direction too. However Jamal speaking in a British accent and excellent English despite having negligible education was quite a turn off. Overall totally worth a watch to understand the plight of a kid born into the slums of India.

Karna- The Eternal Warrior

Tickets are now available at $15 each.
To purchase, email icskarna@gmail.com or SMS 91998369 or 91810614

**Production is performed in English**

Singapore Management University Indian Cultural Society (SMU ICS) will stage its 3rd annual drama production Karna - The Eternal Warrior on 14 February this year. The production emulates the traditional theatre style prevalent in Ancient India. The drama boasts a SMU student based cast and crew including live vocalists, musicians, actors, creative and technical directors and production manager.

Karna - The Eternal Warrior is an English adaptation of one of the chapters from the Indian epic, The Mahabharata, focusing on the character of Karna. The protagonist, Karna, was the son of the Sun god and due to circumstances was disowned at birth. He faced humiliation at every step in life despite his revered lineage. He was never given the respect he deserved. However despite all odds he rose high and knowingly chose to be on the side of the wrong, but for all the right reasons– gratitude, loyalty, and friendship. Karna went on to use the strength and knowledge he amassed to conquer all who had mocked him in life.

Karna went on to become one of the biggest, most loved and most memorable heroes of the Mahabharata. He encapsulated in himself the angst of living a wronged life, which he lived by the motto of making the best of the worst.

The script of the production is adapted from the original “Karnabharam”, a Sanskrit play written in 500 B.C by Bhasa, who is referred to as the father of Indian drama. Karna comes in the wake of previous 2 highly successful productions by SMU ICS, Ek Pyaar Ki Kahaani and Heer Ranjha. SMU ICS hopes to continue entertaining audiences from across the spectrum while spreading awareness about Indian culture and the diverse talents of its members.

Vision for Karna - The Eternal Warrior
With Karna, SMU ICS aims to expand their audience to include the wider Singapore community. The club seeks to enrich the Singapore community with Indian culture and Indian theatre style. Karna will entertain and educate audiences with its unique blend of traditional Indian theatre (founded in 500BC) and modern theatrical technologies of today.

The drama delivers the message of being successful in all situations and standing loyal to your values and what you do in life. Overall the production gives the audience an opportunity to appreciate and enjoy the multiple talents of SMU students in the showcase.

Production Crew and Cast for Karna - The Eternal Warrior

Production Crew
Niharica Sand- Production Manager
Unnikrishna Menon Sreekanth- Director
Parampreet Kaur- Finance Director
Shaffalika Gandhi- Marketing & Sponsorship Director
Ramesh Chandraseharan- Technical Director
Saroopa Das Choreography – Singapore Indian Fine Arts Society

Cast
Zameer Vaswani- Karna
Gayatri Gopal- Kunthi
Sri Saravanan Sithiasagaran- Salya
Akram Yacob- Suthradhar
Unnikrishna Menon Sreekanth- Brahmin
Roger Cherian Payyappilly- Parasurama

I did learn something in SMU

For the 1st time I am only doing 3 modules. Keeping this in mind I had forecasted ample free time and a chilled out semester. It has been 4 weeks into my last semester in SMU and boy have I been proven wrong.

For each of my 3 subjects I have weekly readings and for strategy I have weekly case homework. I know it doesn't sound so bad. But trust me in the last semester I just don't have the motivation to even pick up the textbook, forget doing case studies. Frankly it is not so bad. I agree. What makes it so irritating are the overly zealous juniors in my classes.

All 3 of my classes have an ample of year 2 and year 3 students. Maybe its generation gap (yikes) or the lack of experience dealing with the SMU style of education. Whatever the reason they are the epitome of kiasu. They highlight their slides a week before the lesson. They complete assignments a week before submission. They want to meet 3-4 times to work on a 10% project. They are eager beavers and it irritates me to no end.

After spending 7 semesters in SMU I guess I have gotten used to completing assignments and projects in minimum time and with minimum meetings. I have also gotten used to prioritising deadlines with their respective grade weightage. I must admit that I too have gone though the period of 3 hour sleeping time and pulling out my hair.

In short I guess I did learn something from my time in SMU. I learnt to be an efficient worker, managing my time well and multi-tasking effectively. Now if only I could land a job based on these practical leanings....

Raaz- The mystery continues- Movie review

After a long time I watched a horror movie in which I laughed the least. Knowing me you would understand that this means the movie actually could have passed off for scary. Having said that the movie had many scenes and tactics borrowed from Japanese and Korean horror movies. Those just made me laugh. As for the actors Kangana was great like usual. She looked gorgeous and acted well. Emraan was alright though his French beard just pissed me off. His hairstyle too was extremely irritating. Adhyayan Suman took the cake in rubbing me the wrong way. I cringed each time he smiled or uttered the innocent sounding "baby".. His acting was only bearable in the last 1 or 2 scenes. Overall the movie is a decent watch with enough amount of scare and entertainment. Faint- hearted people might want to brace themselves.

A Girl Like Me- book review

A book that tackles the sacrifices made by a daughter in order to keep her promise made to her dying father. The story also explores how we cling onto the memories as we want them to be and not how they usually are. I personally felt the ending could have been better. A lot of loose ends were left..well loose.

Lamhe at Re:Present, SMU Arts Festival 2009

This coming Monday I will be dancing with 5 other dancers from the SMU Indian Cultural Society. Our performance will be part of the ongoing SMU Arts Festival, Re:Present. In line with the theme of time our performance, Lamhe, will showcase the transition Indian art has made over the years. Using a song from a 1958 Hindi movie and its 21st centuary remix, our dance showcases the difference in music, costumes, dance steps and socital attitude. Come down and watch us dance to the beats of Ek Pardesi, old and new, at Singapore Mangement University T-Junction at 12.30pm on 19th Jan totally free of cost!!

For One More Day- Book review

Interesting story that takes time to hook you to the story. It is refreshing to read a book about the deep love shared between a mother and a son.

I too had a love story- Book review

Amazing book! The fact that it is a true tragic love story moved me to tears. The many similarities with my life also made me scared and forced me to think of situations I would never want anyone to face in life. Please read the book and get an inside look at what true love is.

The Year That Was 2008

The year began different as she had deferred her semester. She enjoyed working life as she interned at a Financial PR firm. The internship whizzed by and soon came her 22^nd birthday. She celebrated like the kid she always became on 14^th Feb. Dinner with friends and then partying the night away. The very next day she flew out to attend her cousin sister's wedding. It was all beautiful, it was lovely but it was all too rushed. It was time to celebrate and dance and sing but she was too sick. The wedding was soon over and back to the grind of Singapore it was.

It was time to return to SMU to begin the deferred accountancy term. That spelt misery with 3 core accounting subjects!! By then she had lost all faith in accountancy and had no fight left. She struggled and suffered through the term. Tax planning was her nightmare. In the end she scrapped through, barely though. The summer holidays came late but came with a bang! She finally secured a BSM and got accepted into for summer exchange. Summer promised to be the best of her life to date.

The day after her last exam she was off to Sweden and Denmark for the BSM. The travelling was exhilarating and amazing. The sights, sounds and tastes awed her. As she soaked in the wonders of Scandinavia it was time to head back to sunny Singapore. Just 8 days later she was off again. This time to Mumbai for 10days on her way to London for her summer school at The London School of Economics and Political Science. The 10days flew by, she was happy and free and very much busy. Before she realised she was back on a plane, flying off to London. She was excited, she was nervous. Alone in a foreign land.. She wondered how she will survive.

London welcomed with open arms and with soon she was totally immersed in her London life. Making new friends and discovering a new life. She was happy and truly content. Studying hard and partying even harder, she ventured into new places. Edinburgh in Scotland, Cardiff in Wales and Paris in France made her summer all the more enchanting. She was living a dream and she didn't want to wake up. Unfortunately all good things come to an end and so did her summer in London. She was soon saying alvida and was on her way back to Singapore. However a 1 day stop in Mumbai was awaiting and she was most looking forward to it. That one day passed to fast, in a haze. It was a tearful separation of indefinite period. With teary eyes and heavy heart she boarded the plane and flew far away.

Starting year 4 felt different yet the same. It started at a feverish pace of job applications and career talks. The interview calls came and she saw hope. She gave her all, impressed and prayed for the best. The future looked bright and she was all smiles. Then came the global economy crash which faded the future and blurred the present. The interviews stopped, the progress halted and she was even shown the door. She was in shock at the complete turn of events. Who can predict the game of God? She smiled and marched ahead. She went through classes and felt the emptiness in life. She left foreign in her own life. People seemed changed or maybe it was just her. She yearned for something to fill the void. Joining painting class she found some solace. Yet she longed to escape Singapore again. She wondered what the holidays would bring and if she would get to spread her wings. She longed for that touch, those arms and that love. The distance was hard to bear and she struggled each day, the smile never leaving her face. Her pain was hers and his alone.

December loomed ahead and she was invited to a friend's wedding. How exciting she thought.. But her parents refused. Then came Chakra like a knight in shining armour. Glad to be rescued she accepted Chakra and embarked on another journey. 2 weeks in a village living the simple life. No electricity, limited water, sleeping on the floor, cooking own food, doing carpentry and teaching kids. That was her life and she learnt a lot. She fell, she cried, she laughed, she smiled. She was glad she went; she came out a better person. Then came the trip to Goa; a holiday finally. For 3 days she relaxed and enjoyed on the sand and in the sea. She left sunburnt but happy, looking forward to a wonderful wedding. The wedding was great, she felt overwhelmed. Her friend was married, would it be her turn soon? She was happy and content with life. A few bonus days to spend in Mumbai. She seized each day and made it fun. Living her life and making memories. Then came time to say good-bye again. She cried and she cried and cried some more. Good-bye was too hard, too painful and heartbreaking; indefinite separation again looming ahead. Promises were made to strive hard for progress. Promises were made of undying love. Promises were made to meet again. Promises were made to keep the promises...

The year that was 2008 was amazing. Full of ups and downs like any other year. What 2009 holds is to be seen. Pray for the best, prepare for the worst cause life is a beautiful journey; unique for each.

Dasvidaniya- Movie review

Amazing movie, very sensitive and clean. I loved every character, the acting was believable. Only glich I found was the Russian girl act.. It was not well shaped and seemed forced into the storyline. All in all a must watch movie.

Ghajini

Date Watched: 27th Dec 2008
Venue Watched: Adlabs Wonder Mall

Rating: 5.5/6
My 2-cents worth: A great movie in every way. Almost a perfect movie if not for the abrupt placement of the songs and minor flaws in the story. Aamir Khan is brilliant!!! He has given the movie his 200% and it shows. Asin is good too, loud at parts but still watchable. Jiah Khan's role at times irritates the hell outta you with her antics. But its part of the story... All in all a must watch movie!

Rab Ne Bana De Jodi

Date Watched: 23rd Dec 2008
Venue Watched: PVR R Mall

Rating: 2.5/6
My 2 cents worth: Horrible story with SRK overacting as the "hip and hap" Raj. It gets painful to watch the movie after the interval. The saving grace is Anushka Sharma. Her acting is gentle and suble, a relief after SRK's loud acting. The songs are not great either. Though the final dance sequence is pleasent to watch.

Oye Lucky! Lucky Oye!

Date Watched: 2nd Dec 2008
Venue Watched: Jade
Watched With: Anju
Rating: 5/6
My 2-cents worth: Great movie with a little of everything; comedy, action, drama etc.. Love Abhay Deol as the mischievous and cunning Lucky.