Wednesday 24 February 2010

Age of Disposable Friendships

We live in the age where there is a disposable version of almost everything. There are disposable cameras, disposable cutlery, disposable shoes, disposable stationery, disposable packaging, disposable tissue and even disposable underwear. What exactly does "disposable" mean though? Very simply it means to 'you and throw' whatever that is disposable. Use the object for its functionality and once you have exhausted its usefulness you dispose of it. The concept is innovative and new and in line with our fast paced lifestyle of today. However in our obsession of leading a disposable aided life have we made relationships disposable?

Are we living in the age of disposable friendships? Have we gotten so carried away by ambition and by progress and by success that we now view "friendships" as being disposable? Meet a person, realise their potential in getting your work done. Befriend them. Tap into their potential on the pretense of friendship and compassion. Once your task as been achieved and your success has been attained, feel free to dispose of the "friend". Now these disposable relationships come in all shapes and sizes and last for all variety of lengths. They could be your best friend who you grew up discussing wedding plans with or it could be your college friend with whom you shared your all-night study sessions with. The friendship could also last for a few days, a week, a few months or even as long as 4 to 13 years...

Apparently it is possible to be the best of friends for years, to celebrate moments together, to be the first to wish them on birthdays, to be together through thick and thin and yet end up being disposed. How it is possible I wonder... What can motivate a person to stoop so low as to wake up one morning and decide, "XYZ is not my friend any more"? Heck with the friendship and everything with it. Heck with the plans to attend each other's weddings. Heck with the promises to be there for each other.

Maybe that thinking was alright at the age of 5, 8, 11 or even 13. But as a person matures you expect them to understand and value friendships more. It is understandable that a person cannot be the closest of and bestest of friends with every single person. However is it wrong to expect loyalty and pure friendship with people you spent years being "friends" with?

It is amazing to think that for some people disposing a friend is as easy as disposing that used tissue. Take it, use it and throw it. No second glances. No regrets. No remorse. At least the tissue knows it was made for that purpose of being used and thrown. I am quite certain human beings were not meant to be used and disposed. Was the disposed friend at fault for being trusting and open in a friendship? I thought openness and honesty is what made a real friendship. Anyone can put up a facade but then that would not be labelled a friendship, would it?

If you think about it, it is a sad world for those who dispose of friends. I suspect they are actually ignorant of the meaning of friendship and devoid of emotions. They say you only realise what you had after you lose it. But what do you call the person who does not even realise what they have after they themselves threw it away? No matter how the world and people dynamics have changed over the years, no matter how Facebook and its like have "taken over", no matter how busy our lives are, friendship is a relationship that has existed as long as humanity. There is friendship hidden in every relation. There is friendship between a mother and daughter, there is friendship between a teacher and student, there is friendship between a husband and wife and there is friendship between a brother and sister. How is it then that a relation as pure and basic as friendship could become disposable like just another sheet of tissue?

1 comment:

Mr. Sober said...

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/nothing-is-permanent-letting-go-attachment-to-people/