Quarter life...

25 years in a week- quarter of life lived. What have I achieved and what more do I have to achieve?

Bachelors and Master in the bag, started off on the career, love of family and friends in place- all these grace my plate.

No complains and no regrets. 25 years taught a lot and made me grow to who I am.

25 years may seem very old, but life’s journey still to explore. A lot to look forward to as each day and year brings something new.

Thank you for these 25 years, looking forward to 75 more with hunger to grow and learn as ever burning.

Praying for heath for body, recognition for effort and love for soul. quarter-life crisis bring it on, I’m raving to have a go.

Social media won’t let the past be in the past

Over the past 5 odd years social media has exploded on the internet and how. From being the exclusive "thing" for Harvard students to my mother having an account, everyone is on the social media bandwagon in some way. We know the merits of social media; keeping in touch, getting in contact with long lost friends/family, sharing photos and videos etc... But has anyone stopped and thought that these advantages not only extend to people we want to be in touch with. They also extend to people we want to get "rid" off and/or forget.

So you have a friend or a boyfriend or girlfriend and the relationship has gone bad. You want to move on with life and have broken things off with them in real life. You don't meet them, you don't talk to them. You have deleted their all the sms they sent and their number from your phone. You have deleted all the emails, photos and chats you have had. However you log onto Facebook and see their photos and videos and status updates, which are constant reminders of them. Logically you decide to remove them from your 'online' life too. In theory it sounds simple. Remove the said person, X, from your 'friends list', block them or put them on limited profile.

However what about the shared network of 'friends' you and X share? As long as you have some link with X you can't truly remove them from your online social network even if you can erase them from your offline life. Say X got married and common friends were at the wedding. Photos of X's wedding would be posted by the common friend and you will see them. You might not want to but you would. It is only human nature to be curious and want to know, "So what happened to X?". Worse still another common friend refers to X in their status update and you remain paranoid about what the status means in regards to you. Even though you have removed X from your offline life, you cannot 100% remove them from your online life. Unless of course you go on a deleting rampage and remove your entire network of common friends.

There might be periods of lull and you would convince yourself that you are over things and everything is in the past. You move on and learn to smile again. However that smile is hostage to that one activity on Facebook which brings the past back, right in front of you on your computer screen. It opens the wounds, the self-doubts, the sadness, the anger and the resentment.

In social media it is almost impossible to get closure about breakups and to move on with life. That is the double edge sword, you are always connected and in touch. Even when you don't want to be. Social media won't let the past be in the past.

Age of Disposable Friendships

We live in the age where there is a disposable version of almost everything. There are disposable cameras, disposable cutlery, disposable shoes, disposable stationery, disposable packaging, disposable tissue and even disposable underwear. What exactly does "disposable" mean though? Very simply it means to 'you and throw' whatever that is disposable. Use the object for its functionality and once you have exhausted its usefulness you dispose of it. The concept is innovative and new and in line with our fast paced lifestyle of today. However in our obsession of leading a disposable aided life have we made relationships disposable?

Are we living in the age of disposable friendships? Have we gotten so carried away by ambition and by progress and by success that we now view "friendships" as being disposable? Meet a person, realise their potential in getting your work done. Befriend them. Tap into their potential on the pretense of friendship and compassion. Once your task as been achieved and your success has been attained, feel free to dispose of the "friend". Now these disposable relationships come in all shapes and sizes and last for all variety of lengths. They could be your best friend who you grew up discussing wedding plans with or it could be your college friend with whom you shared your all-night study sessions with. The friendship could also last for a few days, a week, a few months or even as long as 4 to 13 years...

Apparently it is possible to be the best of friends for years, to celebrate moments together, to be the first to wish them on birthdays, to be together through thick and thin and yet end up being disposed. How it is possible I wonder... What can motivate a person to stoop so low as to wake up one morning and decide, "XYZ is not my friend any more"? Heck with the friendship and everything with it. Heck with the plans to attend each other's weddings. Heck with the promises to be there for each other.

Maybe that thinking was alright at the age of 5, 8, 11 or even 13. But as a person matures you expect them to understand and value friendships more. It is understandable that a person cannot be the closest of and bestest of friends with every single person. However is it wrong to expect loyalty and pure friendship with people you spent years being "friends" with?

It is amazing to think that for some people disposing a friend is as easy as disposing that used tissue. Take it, use it and throw it. No second glances. No regrets. No remorse. At least the tissue knows it was made for that purpose of being used and thrown. I am quite certain human beings were not meant to be used and disposed. Was the disposed friend at fault for being trusting and open in a friendship? I thought openness and honesty is what made a real friendship. Anyone can put up a facade but then that would not be labelled a friendship, would it?

If you think about it, it is a sad world for those who dispose of friends. I suspect they are actually ignorant of the meaning of friendship and devoid of emotions. They say you only realise what you had after you lose it. But what do you call the person who does not even realise what they have after they themselves threw it away? No matter how the world and people dynamics have changed over the years, no matter how Facebook and its like have "taken over", no matter how busy our lives are, friendship is a relationship that has existed as long as humanity. There is friendship hidden in every relation. There is friendship between a mother and daughter, there is friendship between a teacher and student, there is friendship between a husband and wife and there is friendship between a brother and sister. How is it then that a relation as pure and basic as friendship could become disposable like just another sheet of tissue?

As the end draws closer

4 years, 8 semesters, 39 subjects, uncountable projects and presentations, late nights in the library, rushing to meet deadlines, rehearsing in the concourse and SESS seminar 5.2.. As foreign as these may seem to you, to me they are reminders of the 4 years I have spent in SMU.

My experience at SMU is coming to an end and as much as I am thrilled to be finally over with my Bachelors, there is a sadness in leaving the university where I amassed a lot of memories. I was filling out my profile page for the yearbook when I came across the question "What is your fondest memory in SMU?". Needless to say I had a hard time pinpointing a single memory, there are too many for me to treasure for the rest of my life.

The times spent with friends simply chatting, having fun, drinking chai, laughing uncontrollably or the times spent frazzled in the library working till wee hours to meet an impossibly close deadline. I remember the 1^st day of FA class when I 1^st met Liz. Both of us were so out of place in an accounting class and were so relieved to find a friendly face in class. I remember we found each other during the class break and stuck together ever since. We literally slaved together for FA and MA, supporting each other through the horrors of the subjects.

I am going to miss each of these memories and much much more. More importantly I will miss all the people who have enriched my time in SMU, It is impossible to think about my university days without my friends and professors. I thank God for blessing me with such wonderful friends who have stood by me the past 4 years. I just hope we can continue to stay in touch and maintain our beautiful friendship.

I had always heard that university is the best time of your life and I totally agree. I loved my university days and am going to miss it a lot!

I think that what makes this rite of passage more bittersweet for me is the fact that I am as yet still unemployed. That means that once my exams end on the 18^th of April, I have an indefinite period of nothingness. I have been working hard on filling this black hole of a period in my life with some meaningful activities. The obvious thing is trying to land a job for which the process is still in process. As would be expected this is no easy feat in the economic times of today. Keeping that in mind I have also applied for Master's studies in the UK. Other than that I have been applying for various short activities like volunteering with the Asian Youth Games and being a Teaching Assistant and Research Assistant for the holidays.

As the end draws closer I look forward to a new beginning while cherishing the many treasured memories I have of university days.

thought of the day...

When you have even 1 person who can understand your every breath, you can be sure you have been blessed