Age of Disposable Friendships

We live in the age where there is a disposable version of almost everything. There are disposable cameras, disposable cutlery, disposable shoes, disposable stationery, disposable packaging, disposable tissue and even disposable underwear. What exactly does "disposable" mean though? Very simply it means to 'you and throw' whatever that is disposable. Use the object for its functionality and once you have exhausted its usefulness you dispose of it. The concept is innovative and new and in line with our fast paced lifestyle of today. However in our obsession of leading a disposable aided life have we made relationships disposable?

Are we living in the age of disposable friendships? Have we gotten so carried away by ambition and by progress and by success that we now view "friendships" as being disposable? Meet a person, realise their potential in getting your work done. Befriend them. Tap into their potential on the pretense of friendship and compassion. Once your task as been achieved and your success has been attained, feel free to dispose of the "friend". Now these disposable relationships come in all shapes and sizes and last for all variety of lengths. They could be your best friend who you grew up discussing wedding plans with or it could be your college friend with whom you shared your all-night study sessions with. The friendship could also last for a few days, a week, a few months or even as long as 4 to 13 years...

Apparently it is possible to be the best of friends for years, to celebrate moments together, to be the first to wish them on birthdays, to be together through thick and thin and yet end up being disposed. How it is possible I wonder... What can motivate a person to stoop so low as to wake up one morning and decide, "XYZ is not my friend any more"? Heck with the friendship and everything with it. Heck with the plans to attend each other's weddings. Heck with the promises to be there for each other.

Maybe that thinking was alright at the age of 5, 8, 11 or even 13. But as a person matures you expect them to understand and value friendships more. It is understandable that a person cannot be the closest of and bestest of friends with every single person. However is it wrong to expect loyalty and pure friendship with people you spent years being "friends" with?

It is amazing to think that for some people disposing a friend is as easy as disposing that used tissue. Take it, use it and throw it. No second glances. No regrets. No remorse. At least the tissue knows it was made for that purpose of being used and thrown. I am quite certain human beings were not meant to be used and disposed. Was the disposed friend at fault for being trusting and open in a friendship? I thought openness and honesty is what made a real friendship. Anyone can put up a facade but then that would not be labelled a friendship, would it?

If you think about it, it is a sad world for those who dispose of friends. I suspect they are actually ignorant of the meaning of friendship and devoid of emotions. They say you only realise what you had after you lose it. But what do you call the person who does not even realise what they have after they themselves threw it away? No matter how the world and people dynamics have changed over the years, no matter how Facebook and its like have "taken over", no matter how busy our lives are, friendship is a relationship that has existed as long as humanity. There is friendship hidden in every relation. There is friendship between a mother and daughter, there is friendship between a teacher and student, there is friendship between a husband and wife and there is friendship between a brother and sister. How is it then that a relation as pure and basic as friendship could become disposable like just another sheet of tissue?

the best birthday ever!

On the 14th of February 2007 I turned 21. A huge milestone as i have heard. As such i had naturally been excited about it for a long time.

However as fate would have it i have been unbelievably busy this whole semester. Hence as the days passed, my dream of the 'perfect' 21st birthday seemed to be just a dream. However being the determined person I am, i snapped myself out of my dreams and started working to make my birthday a reality.

14th of February 2007 fell on a Wednesday, smack in the middle of the working week. There was no way i could have had my party on the 14th. Choosing another date was tricky, with the occurrence of the lunar New Year. Finally i settled on the 16th of February 2007.

I was lucky my parents were very supportive of my party idea. I got substantial funding from them. The most important and yet difficult task was making my guest list. My initial guest list ran into 100 plus people. Painfully i cut it down to 80 odd. I also got the venue, DJ, food and drinks settled. The venue of my party was perfect. I held it in frujch, a bar in SMU.

Yes you read that right; it is a bar in my university. It is an amazing place with the perfect ambiance and a full working bar. I didn’t need much persuading to choice that as my venue.

I have the best bunch of friends! I really do and they proved their friendship when they banished me from doing any preparations for the party other than what I had already done. They took upon themselves to decorate the place, get my cake, and welcome the guests while I was ordered to make a 'grand entrance' at the party. Such sweethearts.

Unknown to me they were also planning numerous surprises for the party. Boy what surprises they turned out to be!!!!

Here are the surprises-

1. The BEST surprise! Kanu sent an audio message which was played as I cut my cake. I was in utter shock. After the message ended out came out my lovely teddy bear sent by Kanu. What a surprise.... I was crying as I cut the cake. Thanks to my friends and of course Kanu.


2. Paru presented me a collage of our photos together from the time she was 2 years old to now... such memories on that one board. I can't believe my little sister is going to leave home for her studies. I am going to miss her so much. Once again my darling's surprise left me in tears.

3. Aarti and Param got me green and silver helium balloons! =D

4. Liz sang 'chura liya hai tumne' for me. Unknowingly she picked my absolute favourite song. =D

The party was just amazing, too much fun. I really want to thank everyone; you guys made it the most special day in my life. This has been the best party ever. I can never ever forget that day. Thank you all for your love, best wishes, blessings and gifts. I want to thank all those who came.

the aftermath....

here's a look into what happens after a successful performance and 3 crazy stressed out gals get together.... btw the lady in disguise is param. *wink*

just a note : photos were taken under the influence of too much fun and influence of rocking dance numbers!!!

Primary school days...

I've been through kindergarden, primary school, secondary school and junior college. Now i am in university. If asked when i had the best time, it will be a tie between primary school and university.
So now you'll want to ask me why these two? I'll touch upon university in a later post. For this one i'll just tell about my primary school days.

It has been 8 long years since i completed my PSLE but i still remember my primary school days very well. I used to study in Xinghua primary school. It was a neighbourhood school a stone's throw away from my house. I joined it only in primary 2 when my family shifted house. Of course joining in primary 2 meant I had missed out one year to make friends. I can clearly remember the first day of school. I had gone through the lessons before recess. One of those lessons was mother tongue. Now I didn't take any mother tongue offered in school. I was a non- Tamil Indian language student doing Hindi. But I was required by school to sit in the Tamil class during the mother tongue lesson. So back to recess. I was sitting alone in the canteen, eating my packed food. A girl from the Tamil class, Sivarangani, came up to me and started talking. I think that was the first and last time I was ever alone in school. Rangani soon introduced me to all the Indian kids in her "gang". There were quite a few of them. All took Tamil, and I used to sit in their lesson. So very soon I joined their gang which meant eating together during recess, playing hopscotch together (a very popular sport in my school), talking in class and basically being friends. Of the gang, 2 guys were in my primary 2 class, Vinod and Kalai.

When i went to primary 3, another NTIL student was in my class. She was a quiet girl with bambi eyes. Her name was Preeti. So she joined the gang too. With her we had the original 4; Vinod, Kalai, Preeti and me. We used to chit chat, fight (those trivial fights u laugh about now) and of course play hopscotch together. In the meantime Preeti and my friendship began to grow stronger. It was no time before she was at my house every other day, or i at her. We did every project together. We sat together in class. We did our prefect duties together. We even bunked school together. Basically we were "ask for one, get the other free".

The cool thing was the original 4 stayed in the same class in primary 4, 5 and 6. We went through hilarious childish moments together; we went for our excursions together. The gang was still there. But the 4 of us were in one class and the others spread out or not so close. All this while Preeti and I still sat in the Tamil class during mother tongue. We used to sit in the back and talk and laugh, occasionally doing some Hindi work.

Primary school was fun and each day was great. But little were we to know that in primary 4 this fun was going to be increased!!! In primary 4 we got a new Tamil teacher, Miss Parames (now Mrs Parames). Man she is the best teacher i have ever had (of course technically she never taught me...)!! She was full of fun. She was a friend to us. She was an aunt agony to us. We used to visit her in the staff room when we were bored, free or had a problem. She used to give the best children's day gifts to us. She even took us bowling and for lunch (her treat) in primary 6. She knew us, she knew our parents and she even knew our siblings. Haha she was one crazy teacher. In fact she is one of the few teachers i am still in touch with. I even went for her wedding.

So yea I had a great time in primary school!! Such a great time that i cannot forget those friends or teachers. Actually I haven't. I'm still in touch with most of the gang and Mrs Parames. On Saturday we had a gang reunion for the first time in the last 8 years. Unfortunately a few of the gang couldn't meet up. So eventually it was the original 4 and Mrs Parames.

But oh my god what a fun time we had!!!!!!!!!!!!! We laughed so much, our stomachs hurt.. And as usual Mrs Parames insisted on treating us. But seriously I have not had such a good time for quite some time. I had a blast. And Mrs Parames is as crazy as ever. Infact i think she has become crazier!! (if that is even possible...) I am certainly going to try to get the full gang together now. I even with just the 5 of us, we had such a great time. With the whole gang it'll be wild!

Anju, me, Suruchi and Preeti
I really miss the great time we four have had together after our A levels.