12 Reasons Why a Geek Will Steal Your Girlfriend in 2008

As a fellow geek, you may wholeheartedly agree with this article. If you are a non-geek (do they really exist?), you might take offense. Regardless… how you feel about the matter is largely irrelevant – the truth is that a geek probably will steal your girlfriend this year (or steal away the girl you may have designs on), and while we hate to be the ones to break it to you, it’s simply a friendly forewarning. Without further ado, here are 12 reasons why a geek will steal your girlfriend this year:

1. Geeks make more money than you.

Claiming that women value money over everything else is not going to fly. Instead, you must consider the more practical angle - when all other things are considered equal, the guy with more money is simply the better option.

That raises two questions - do geeks have more money, and how does a geek match up at everything else? For the former, here’s a thought:

Remember that pimply faced, awkward, AD&D player who everyone made fun of in high school? Chances are he has come up with the concept for the latest gadget the masses have been drooling over ( Steve Jobs with iPhone), a social networking site that has taken the world by storm ( Kevin Rose with Digg) or created the coolest cartoon in history (Trey Parker and Mark Stone with South Park).

The other question? That’s a subject for the rest of this article.

2. Geeks are smarter than you.

They might not have a player’s social skills and graces but they do hold degrees in anything from literature to nuclear physics. And even those without a degree (think Bill Gates) can converse about more then how much they earn, what kind of car they drive and the latest football scores.

Stimulating conversation goes a long way towards winning her heart – and compared to the average guy, a geek has far more to talk about and is undeniably far more interesting.

3. Geeks pay attention.

Men in general cannot multitask. That is why when you are on a date, your eyes glaze over while you stare at woman’s cleavage and all you hear is bla,bla,bla (to be fair you’re probably not missing much, but that’s not the point here).

So how do geeks differ? It is not that geeks do not appreciate breasts (they are men after all) but what’s almost universally common in geeks is the presence of old-fashioned chivalry and plain old good manners. You’d be surprised at how far that can get you with a girl (as long as you don’t roll over and play dead).

Given the choice between breasts and listening to the bla bla of their new lady friend, odds are that the geek will be discreet in his stares and learn to multitask (see #2). Hey, you can’t avoid great cleavage…

4. Geeks remember what matters.

I’m not talking about when Chicago Bulls won the championship for the third time in the row or how many times Jessica Alba was in Maxim magazine. Geeks have super powers – they can remember birthdays and anniversaries and all other little nuances women love so much.

In itself, having a good (nay, excellent) memory is just a regular trait (and can be annoying if you feel the overwhelming urge to correct others), but combined with #5, it is an overwhelming advantage for the geek.

5. Geeks pick out the best gifts.

Not only will geeks remember when it’s her birthday, they will remember what her likes and dislikes (and if she hasn’t told him, see #6 for the kicker). With all this information at their disposal, geeks will also come up with perfect gift. It really does take minimum effort, regardless of what men might think.

And let’s face it: when was the last time you remembered your girlfriend’s birthday in time, let alone found a gift that has made her squeal with delight?

6. Geeks put in the extra effort.

Missed her favorite show? Can’t find that obscure Indian movie her friends have been telling her about? Interested in a new underground band that could be the next big thing? Leave it to the geek to find it for her.

And if they haven’t been together for long, you can trust the geek to ask her the right questions and find out what she wants and doesn’t want - and then give that to her.

You don’t have to obey her every wish - giving her what she truly needs is often the key to a successful relationship, and not only are geeks ahead of the curve in finding out what she needs, but they’re also ahead in terms of putting in the extra yards to ensure that she gets it.

7. Geeks are better lovers.

Before you laugh…actually, go ahead, laugh this one out. I’ll wait.

Once you’re done claiming your superiority, here’s the harsh truth - men are, on average, unsatisfying. Experience doesn’t do much for a guy if all he’s doing is trying to hold it in as long as possible - yea, practice makes perfect but you’re only going to go so far when your limit is 3 minutes.

Notice that I didn’t say geeks were better endowed or lasted longer - but that geeks were better lovers. Compared to an average guy, a geek is going to be better prepared, knows exactly how to please a lady in bed and will actually pay attention to her needs instead of trying to catch the early train back home.

8. Geeks get the best gadgets.

Lets face it: diamonds and pearls went out fashion a while back. Now it’s all about the latest gadgets - iPods and smartphones, iConnect pillows and singing yoga mats. And who has the finger on the pulse of what is hot and what is not in the electronics world? The geek of course. Not only she will be hip and cool with her latest gadget, she’ll also be the envy of her girlfriends.

And that, my non-geeks friends, holds one of the biggest secrets to a relationship - make a woman look good, and she will go through a lot of trouble (like dumping her current boyfriend) to be with you.

9. Geeks will nurture the child within.

What man will not run screaming if she wants to play dress up, admire that doll in the window or suggests an outing to the latest amusement park? All these things are normal and accepted in a geek’s world.

10. Geeks are the new handymen - except that they’re good at what they do.

Geeks can upgrade, maintain, upload or fix anything that is plugged into a wall. You want your computer to be fast as the speed of light, want the best sound system, TiVo playing , want your tea kettle to whistle a tune while brewing your coffee? Ok that last one might be an exaggeration, but you get my drift. Anything technically related is something geeks can do and if it is not their area of expertise, they have friends who can handle it.

11. Geeks are trustworthy

Trust is a funny thing. If a guy is too loyal, he might be seen as clingy and just another burden. If the same guy plays around and can’t keep his toungue in his mouth (so to speak), it’s going to magnify a lot of other problems that a girl would usually compromise over.

But if you get it right - if a girl can be secure in her relationship while retaining her freedom, she’s going to be on the moon (and that means more fun for the geek).

If she fancies a night out with the girls, she knows that her geek can be left unattended without any worries. She knows that the geek is into her for more than just the sex, and is loyal to her (ok, thats what she thinks, but you can’t fault us geeks for playing that card, can you?).

Remove the source of a women’s insecurity and she becomes a much more fun person to be with - as geeks know.

12. Geeks are a refreshing and attractive change from the regular stock

They are caring. They are NOT desperate for sex. They love sports, but won’t lose sanity if their team loses. And not only do they make the effort to take her out to a nice place, they also take her to places that she’s probably never been (all that research and attention comes in handy).

In short, geeks are unlike the majority of the men the girl will know in her life - in fact, they’re probably much better than the guys she knows, at least according to how she rates guys.

If that’s not an advantage, I don’t know what is.